My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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