I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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