the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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