I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
