Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
