NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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