I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
