You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
