If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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