it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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