is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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