So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
