It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
