I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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