who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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