Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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