I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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