I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
