Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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