he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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