Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think I sprained my soul last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
