I want to walk on stilts...naked
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
