I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
