She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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