Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
