I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
