therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
