I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
