you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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