He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I cut my penus on the lid.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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