i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
