You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
