Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
