dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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