would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just gift wrapped bread.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
