Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
