Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
