i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
