idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
