Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
