he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
