shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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