So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
