He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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