soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
