how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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