I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
