32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
