This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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