Plan B is the new Plan A
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
